leaving body

my body is a crushed angel Eckerd tells me

i’ve know it so long i’m having trouble

watching it leave me like this

he says “not so long as you think”

i grew into it since i can remember

bought it things

took it into trees mountains homes of friends a lover’s bed shops oceans basement \

hideaways

i made a study of it in full-length mirrors before school and work

in the faces of strangers

in the tall windows of office buildings

i fed it walked it lay it down at night

“ah crushed angel” Eckerd sighs “and with such style!”

i’m not ready to give it up

we’ve been inseparable for an entire lifetime

how can it just up and go

“it isn’t your trouble sweet broken one” my teachers assures

then whose grief lingers in it

like roots in a spade full of soil

whose fear wriggles and writhes

like an uncovered worm